Dont stop

There are three men in the woods. they are hunter, trapper, and stupid
guy. Hunter goes out and comes back an hour later with a bear. Trapper asks
"how did you get that?" Hunter says me find tracks, me follow tracks, me find
bear, me shoot bear, bear stop."
Trapper goes out and comes back an hour later with a deer. Stupid guy
asks "how did you get that?" Trapper says" me find tracks, me follow tracks,
me find deer, me shoot dear, dear stop."
Stupid guy goes out and comes back two hours later bruised and nearly
dead with broken limbs. Hunter and trapper ask "What happened to you?"
stupid guy says "me find tracks, me follow tracks, me find train, me shoot
train, train don't stop."

Old age!

Old Age

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said,
"Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of
the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start
making a sandwich."

The second lady chimed in, "Yes, some times I find myself on the landing
of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way
down."

The third one responded, " Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem; knock
on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them "That must
be the door, I'll get it!"

Red Shirt

Red Shirt

There's a captain and his crew, and they always won naval battles. One day, a sailor called out "Cap'! 10 ships approching!" The Captain replied "Get me my red shirt!" They did, he put it on, and they won the battle.

Later, a sailor called "Cap'! 20 ships!" "Get me my red shirt!" They did, and they won after he wore it

Later, 50 ships attacked, they got thier captain his red shirt, and they won

Then one day a sailor asked "Captain, why do you wear that red shirt?" "If I get shot and bleed, you won't see my blood and keep fighting for me" said the captain

Later...
Sailor: "Captain! 220000 ships!"

Like a Frog

A seven year old boy goes to the hospital with his grandmother to visit his grandfather.

When they arrive there he runs ahead of his granny and bursts into his grandpa's room.

"Grandpa, as soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog," he shouted.

"What for?" asked his grandpa.

"Grandma said that as soon as you croaked, we're going to Disneyland

Caught speeding

Caught Speeding

Woman: "Is there a problem officer?"
Officer: "Ma'am you were speeding."

Woman: "Oh, I see."
Officer: "Can I see your license please?"

Woman: "I'd give it to you, but I don't have one."
Officer: "Don't have one?"

Woman: "Lost it 4 times for drinking."
Officer: "I see, can I have your vehicle registration papers please?"

Woman: "I can't do that."
Officer: "why not?"

Woman: "I Stole this car and hacked up the owner."
Officer: "You what?"

Woman: "His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see."

The officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away from his car,and calls for back-up. within 5 minutes five police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.

Senior Officer: "Ma'am could you step out of your vehicle please!"
woman: "Is there a problem officer?"

Senior Officer: "one of my men told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: "Murdered the owner!"

Senior Officer: "yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please.

The woman opens the trunk revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Senior Officer: "Is this your car ma'am"?
Woman: "Yes, here are my registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Senior Officer: "One of my men claims that you do not have a driver's license.

The woman digs into her bookbag and draws out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer looks quite puzzled as he glances at the license.

Senior Officer: "I'm sorry ma'am. One of my men claims that you didn't have a license, stole this car and murdered the owner."

Woman: "Betcha the lyin' bastard told you I was speeding too!"

A wonderful story

A wonderful story

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."


"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.


"No", she replied. "He's out."

"Then we cannot come in", they replied.


In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.


"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"


The woman went out and invited the men in"


" We do not go into a House together," they replied.


"Why is that?" she asked.


One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."


The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How n ice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"


His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"


Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"


"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.


"Go out and invite Love to be our guest ."


The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."


Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, t he lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"


The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him.

Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success !!!!!!"

The perfect picture is

Given Below.

{ Team Leader -- Developer -- Project Manager. }

There are 2 persons always next to you :

1. The PM (Project Manager), giving a pleasant smile every time we see him/HER.
2. 
   
3. The TL (Team Leader), busy in scheduling work for us..... and busy in his world.
4. 
   
5. In the centre its we (Software engineers), who struggles with all the Buggs / PR's / CR's /Issues.